1. |
Wake up, Little one
02:28
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Wake up now, wake up little one
I know it’s dark but we have to leave, we have to go, we have to run.
Take my hand while I carry your sister to the car.
Sshh! Don’t wake the neighbours or let the dog bark.
Hurry now, we must beat the sunrise
Kiss your darling father goodbye
For he can no longer keep us safe
My God, is there a purpose to this heartbreak?
Leave behind your blanket, your dresses and your shoes.
Leave behind your crayons, your scissors and your glue.
Leave behind the chickens roosting in the tree.
Whisper goodbye to Peluchina, Lucero y el Titi.
And as we journey through the night
I’ll pray this decision I’m making is right
And I’ll fear our unfolding fate
Might be too much for such a little heart to take.
Wake up now, wake up little one
We have to leave, we have to run.
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2. |
Line In The Sand
02:37
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When tragedy marks a line in the sand
And the ending is not what you planned,
Life requires you to bend or to break
With decisions too painful to make.
To accept you have lost is so hard,
You must surrender all hope of a better past,
Come to terms with the years of denial and regret
And embrace the broken pieces you have left.
Open the door to pain.
Set it free in your home,
Find the courage to process the burning rage
Slowly turning your body to stone.
When tragedy marks a line in the sand
And the ending is not what you planned
Life requires you to bend or to break
With decisions too painful to make.
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3. |
Lion and Me
03:40
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Inside of me is a lion in a cage
Under lock and key to contain his rage
This way I deny his natural state
How his claws and teeth fill me with fear
Fear that he’ll destroy me if I let him near
But without a vent his fury only grows
Lion and me in this captive hold
Today I dared put my ear to his door
And though still unprepared for the force of his roar
He kept asking I acknowledge his plight
Lion and me and our soul’s dark night
Wretched lion held captive, neglected and banished
To the darkest places I have inside
Wise lion says that we are one
That I am the ocean
And he but a passing storm
Lion and me, may I heed his roar
Lion and me, may I heed his roar.
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4. |
Emerge
01:22
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5. |
Solid Ground
02:24
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You make me feel there is solid ground
That all is forgiven, that we will all be found
You help me remember there is air to breathe
You remind me that it is safe to sleep.
Because for too long I’ve been lost in fear
And I think I forgot that I am still here
Amidst the chaos of this time and space
I noticed the kindness in your face
Gentle hands, warm skin
And the thought of new soil to grow flowers in
Solid ground. Thank you for this solid ground.
Old pathways that remain still
a source of love to ground ourselves in
I won't promise what I cannot do
But I promise I'll try to be there for you because
You make me feel there is solid ground
That all is forgiven, that we will all be found
Solid ground. Thank you for this solid ground.
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6. |
When Blood Touches Water
03:03
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Desde Escocia para el mundo! Y dice
Allow me to introduce myself first
I’m from a generation that drinks without thirst
Hijacked by unexamined collective fear
That won’t stop ringing in our ears
And I’ve been searching far and wide
For a little voice to quieten my mind
A voice that tells me I am safe
And I think this searching predisposes me to faith
And my phone keeps telling me I should maximise effort and time
So I can keep paying for this life of mine
But I’ve been paying for it in ways you don’t recognise
I’ve been bleeding every four weeks since I was a child.
Eso Hannah, y que mas tenes para decirle? A esta gente hay que hablarles claro
Now I’m here being vulnerable and bold
Cause they’ve been harvesting our attention like gold
I’m talking about the maniacs who’d rather set the world on fire
than just stop, take stock and humbly step aside.
So like all that came before us we witness war in our time
Imperial overreach, psyches in exile
And my phone keeps telling me I should maximise effort and time
So I can keep paying for this life of mine
But I’ve been paying for it in ways you don’t recognise
I’ve been bleeding every four weeks since I was a child.
So look me in the eye when you say you know more
And unless you’re acquainted with the ugly face of war
Then I need you to listen as carefully as you can
When blood touches water – it expands.
Ahora si las cosas a como son
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7. |
Powerful
03:00
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We’ve been kept so small, we’ve been kept so weak
We’ve been afraid to act, we’ve been afraid to speak.
We’ve all been devalued by the rich men’s greed
Men whose profits are soaring while the whole world bleeds.
Oh, and it feels so hard, like we’ve all lost our way in the dark.
And yet there’s a space inside where the darkness has no place to hide.
And so it goes, this body knows that we are powerful
And wisdom shows when focus grows that we are powerful.
This pain you’ve been running from it won’t break you, you know
For pain, pain is a teacher there to help us grow
Oh, and the secret’s in this body you’re living in
If you keep listening you’ll touch on the infinite
And so it goes, this body knows that we are powerful
And wisdom shows when focus grows that we are powerful.
Time to stop running and learn to love
Cause we’re not the monsters they would make of us
Oh, and the secret’s in this body you’re living in.
And so it goes, this body knows that we are powerful
And wisdom shows when focus grows that we are powerful
Powerful, powerful.
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8. |
Reckoning
00:52
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9. |
Premise
02:30
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For the faint-hearted among you there’s no reason to dally
While I dare myself to carry what needs to be carried.
Move on now please. Don’t stop and stare.
Don’t offer advice or pretend you care.
Can you sit quietly with my broken heart?
Consider carefully if you’re up to the task.
Cause there is nothing here you are required to fix.
I carry the burden, I understand the risk.
And so my friend, consider yourself warned
For the pain of my losses is what pushes me on.
I don’t appreciate efforts to make me forget.
I won’t tolerate attempts to ease my regrets.
Cause this pain is personal, it’s part of the family
And it knows of the farcical pursuits of humanity
In the age of late capitalism and permanent war
This pain reminds me what my two hands are for.
And when I am ready to show you my wounds
Please bear in mind I never asked you
To bandage me up or offer an opinion.
For this pain is imminent and of my dominion.
So here we are another year older.
The weight of the world is on everyone’s shoulders.
For my part my vision is mercifully clear,
Constant and focused on what I hold dear.
Are you really so shocked at my plan to follow through?
To put at the centre that golden rule,
Despite all the darkness and all the bad will,
I uphold the premise Thou Shalt Not Kill.
And when I am ready to show you my wounds
Please bear in mind I never asked you
To bandage me up or offer an opinion.
For this pain is imminent and of my dominion.
Oh this pain is imminent and of my dominion.
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10. |
Sueño
03:08
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Estoy parada sobre una inmensa playa
Ofreciendo una manta a la noche estrellada.
Sobre la manta con hebras enperladas
He bordado mi historia, he bordado mi verdad.
Una tormenta se acerca, empieza a tronar,
El viento golpea fuerte, se arrecian las olas del mar.
Mi cuerpo se tambalea y la tela se retuerza,
Pero voy aprendiendo a moverme con su majestuosa fuerza.
Por el agua del mar mis pies son consolados,
Para que puedan sanar y seguir transitando,
Este camino sinuoso y enieblado,
Confiando que exista aunque no lo pueda ver.
Una tormenta se acerca, empieza a tronar,
El viento golpea fuerte, se arrecian las olas del mar.
Mi cuerpo se tambalea y la tela se retuerza,
Pero voy aprendiendo a moverme con su majestuosa fuerza.
Repite coro
Pero voy aprendiendo a moverme con su majestuosa fuerza. X2
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11. |
I Will Rise
04:04
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After the avalanche I will rise breaking through layers of ice
Until I breathe air so pure left for us there by the storm.
I’ll drag my body so weak down to green fields
To nourish myself, to regain my strength.
I will rise, I will rise, I will rise up, I will rise up, I will rise.
I will wash in the stream until I am again clean,
And so my senses awaken I will dive in naked.
I will rise, I will rise, I will rise up, I will rise up, I will rise.
But if my strength fails me others will overcome.
Well the birds will still fly and the river will still run.
On and on through the years
When I am not here to witness it all with these eyes
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12. |
Thank you
03:59
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Thank you for listening. It means so much to be able to share this work. This album is about my journey over the last five years. Like humans the world over, today and throughout history, I have experienced multiple losses. Losses that have made me question whether I can or want to keep going.
In essence this album is about the age-old human experience of descent and rising.
Chanelling my grief, anguish and rage into music is a powerful release for these overwhelming feelings. This creative process allows my body to return to its natural state: that of a living vessel in love with the world. Sharing this music with you is a vital part of this process.
In May 2018 I fled my home in Nicaragua with my children to bring them to safety in my native Scotland. We left in the middle of the night leaving their father behind. We fled the terror of a Western backed, narco funded coup attempt aimed at overthrowing the left wing Sandinista government.
Up until then I had a significant following as an artist singing original material in Spanish in and around our hometown, Esteli. I have included three songs from that period of my career as bonus material.
The songs on this album chronicle my mental health journey since 2018. In 2022 I was diagnosed with Complex PTSD. For me the diagnosis was massively validating and helpful in terms of making sense of myself and learning to advocate for myself as I navigate life.
I have infinite gratitude for the wonderful human beings who have loved and supported me through my crises. It is scary showing other people the parts of us that are broken. But in the right company exposing our wounds is a portal to meaningful and life affirming human connection.
We talk a lot about mental health now, and this is undeniably a good thing. More and more people are commited to becoming trauma informed and to developing the ability to tolerate overwhelm and support people in crisis.
But if we are serious about addressing the mental health crisis, we must become serious about peace and we must become serious about justice. Justice for the majority world. Justice for colonized nations. Justice for Palestine. Justice for all victims of war. Justice for all human beings whose homes and livelihoods are threatened by the climate crisis.
As citizens of Western nations I believe we have a moral imperative to become serious in our disdain for the arms trade, and to become serious about nuclear disarmament.
At this crossroads in time I feel we are being called to evolve the current system of ruthless capitalism. A system which has proven over and again its intent to prioritize profit for the rich above all things, including human life and the world's ecosystems.
As a first achievable step I believe we can contribute to humanity by undertaking reflective, inner work around our own mortality. Sitting with and accepting the fact of our own mortality is a fast track to embodying compassion. Compassion towards ourselves and compassion towards others.
Human beings who are not in denial about how precious life is are people who can disregard violence as a solution to any probelm or contradiction we encounter.
Human beings who are not in denial about how precious life is, are the ones who will work together to preserve the ecosystems that sustain us.
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Hannah Curteis Scotland, UK
Singer-Songwriter
Mother. Feminist. Anti-Imperialist.
Survivor.
I am a loving soul on a spiritual and revolutionary journey, called to share my music with the world.
I write and sing in Spanish and English.
My musical style is a fusion of alternative pop, soul, blues, latin rhythms and latin american trova.
My lyrics are raw, poetic and deeply personal.
www.hannahcurteis.com
... more
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